Gone (Nothing at all)

I never want to forget this moment
I want to remember it always
Then it slips out of view
Like clouds cover suns rays
Falling off the edge like rain drops
Rolling away like fog after night stops
Disappearing like moonlight
When the sun begins to rise
And suddenly memories are gone
No longer stored behind your eyes.

"Never forget" close your eyes
Shut the thought in caught by surprise
Loose lipped fashion
Wished it were true
Truth be told, she's already forgotten you
So let's have a moment to forget
A moment to reacquire regret
For all those memories lost and found
The voices that no longer retain their sound.

Waking this morning your eyes bright
Your hand on my back, scent of the night
Left are the lingering remains of proof
That something memorable made us move
But search for it now inside your mind
I've trouble even seeing the roadway sign
I need a pointer, I need a clue
I need you to show me what to do
I know in my heart there is something to recall
But vainly I search and find nothing at all.


Oh terrible memory
Lose what I find
Only way to keep
Is lock it in rhyme 

Green Teacup

When your mind is full
What do you do?
Do you open and empty
Contents on the floor?
Do you close up the windows
And lock your front door?
Do you call round for coffee
Have a good yarn
Or run to the ocean
Flee from the farm.

Take here some ideas
Things that I've tried
Activities to empty
The halls of your mind

Pen to the pad
Ink flying along
Brisk walk in cold,
Breath cooling your lungs

Taking that breath -
Heating it up
Finding it buried
In a green teacup

Lighting the fire
Inhaling the warmth
Watching it flicker
Controlling it's form

Is it working yet?
Can you feel it fly?
Is it emptying
The corners of your mind

Questions are many
Answers are few
Somehow someway
You'll know what to do

Scrawling and crawling
Breath comes in gasps
Taking no heed
Of present or past

Forgetting the moment
Finding what's now
Wondering origins
Remembering how

Taste the sweet melody
Sing with your heart
Coz once you begin
You'll never forget 
How to start
 

Ballet

Stand on tippy toes
I watched as you rose
Standing left and right
Moving muscles into light
I can tell it's gunna be a good night

Now my pen goes
As my mind wanders
And you float in my eyes
As far as birds can fly

I'm watching you
You know it too
So pretty little white toes
Ribbons forming perfect rows

It's like you are water
Moving just the way you oughta
I've wished I could do it too
But this talent belongs to you

So let us watch you as you dance
Arms in front, dainty stance
Tetter totter, pitter patter
Awkward fluid? It's the latter

Point toes towards the stars
You are more beautiful than Mars
To outer space we go
As you put on your show
Now the finale music sounds
As soundlessly you drop to the ground.

Skies

I'm at the peak of that mountain
Watching the drowning sun
As it slips mindlessly
Behind a billion particles
Of glittering sparkling clouds.

Strange

I change mid-sentence
To think of you
Honestly, really
A strange thing to do.

Dark

It's a quarter to three
And the roof is still leaking
I'm needing my sleep
But the noise is still creeping
I can't fall into dreams
When the rains falling on me
My floor is soaking
And I can't see....

Broken Trust

Lie to yourself
See what yourself
Says, see if
Yourself even cares
Myself doesn't
Here I am, a lie
I lie to myself
And myself...
Well it doesn't
Give a hoot
How can I make
Anyone else
Understand
When even I don't
I suppose if I
Hadn't lied to
Myself, maybe
Myself would 
Listen now.
Maybe

Turn in the Right Direction

Oh does it hurt?
Are you feeling such pain?
Is your lonely heart aching
And your mind nearly drained?

Down in the depths
Fumbling for a way
Look to your right now
Hear what I say:

First you looked
Over that way
You thought in your heart
Mind wandered away

Tempting you slowly
Enticed by the thought
You shuffled your feet
And went where you naught

Tasting the spoil
Enfolded in your hands
Everything seemed
As if going to plan

Your wandering turned
To a quick shuffling hop
Suddenly running
Not wanting to stop!

Fleeing from right
Hurrying to wrong
You tripped and stumbled
Falling headlong.

The mountain was steeper
Than you ever dreamed
Or maybe the hole deeper
Than it first had seemed.

Falling and crashing
Your tumble not ceasing
The distance from the light
Ever increasing

That's when you realized
How everything ached
Such moans, cries, wailings
For own pity's sake

How can one see
Past a pain so severe?
Well look for a helper
That seems so clear!

So eyes searching closely
In the dim light
You can see people
Help is in sight!

But rather than lifting you
They take your hands
Promising sweetness
They give you the bland

Liars they are first
And liars they'll be
They lead not to firm ground
But straight to slippery.

Their weight plus yours
Pulls you down more
Before you know it
You're flat on the floor

Glancing so briefly
Up at that light
You resign yourself
To a faithless plight

Know now what I call!
Hear what I say!
God has forgiven
For us to be saved!

I wailed in my pain
And shook in my tears
And when I glanced up
I only enlarged my fears


But when I quietened
And ceased all my noise
In the still and the silence
I heard His sweet voice.


He called to me gently,
And I strained to hear
I leaned in His direction
His whisper in my ear.


"Take one step
Walk to this Way
If your strength is all but gone
Crawl, then say,
'Father forgive me!
Great is my sin!
I cannot come before you
But Jesus blood in'

I will hear you,
See if your heart is sincere
I will come to you
And carry you safely here.
Do not hope to climb
This treacherous hill alone
That strength is not within you
But in the One apon the throne.
Tell me that you know
It is impossible for you to do
But that you know
I AM will carry through"


The words echoed soundly
Within my awestruck mind
Now I know what I must do
The path, lightened I find.


So tell me when you hear it
His soft gentle call,
Will your heart wander off
Or will you give your all?


Even though He knows your choice
I know you can hear His voice.

Faith

If one thing you could take,
And the other you'd leave behind
Tell me what the thought is
That springs into your mind?

Is it person place or thing?
A heart to love? A mouth to sing?
Is it a possession that you hold dear
Or is it an unnoticed fear?

Is it that you won't let go
Or has "I can't!" stole the show?
Holding you down, keeping you back!
You understand how much you lack!

Your purpose and produce
Are halved 'cause of this!
Your abilities shrink
And opportunities missed

Where are you going to
All on your own?
The journey is so long
The path is unknown.

Take a precious little
Of the faith that some have shown
Plant it as a seed
Until it has grown

The faith! The faith!
In it you will succeed
If you just pause a moment
To lay down the precious seed.

To begin to grow this precious thing
All you really have to do
Is take the handbook, with instructions
In whatever thing you do.

...!!!

The concrete bit into my cold feet, as I edged down the path, eyes open for neighbours. Carefully lowering the weighty bag, label peeking nervously street-ward, lined easily next to others just like it. I turned my face downwards, squinting in the soft rain, likened to spittle by an exuberant storyteller. Hand on the cold door handle, I'm in. It's over. I've put out the rubbish....

Wingin' It

So long ago
It got broken
And we know it can't be repaired.

I had someone try that
But it hasn't helped.

You, you tried it
And now that I think
Somethings got me confused.
You're still at it.

You haven't given up on me
You haven't let me go
You seem to drive me crazy
Knowing the things you know

I've never met someone like you
As mad as it may seem
You're like some kind of fairy
In some mad, messed up kind of dream

You are sometimes quite uncouth
Not delicate in your steps
But just right now
That's overshadowed by the rest.

If I didn't know what your were thinking
Any why you do what you do
I'd report you to the authorities
And send you back to that zoo!

But strangely and bizarrely
No matter what I do
Every time I think of me 
It's like I'm thinking of you!

It's almost as if you know me
From some past meeting or talk
But that's just plain impossible
Because we've never met before!

How can you understand me?
Know just who I am?
It feels like you belong here
Stay here when you land.

Her and I

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder
Well in some cases
I think they're right.

You and I
No matter how hard we try
Speaking nicely
Becomes a fight.

I know that I haven't lived as long
And I know I'm foolish not wise
I know I see things differently
Because I'm not looking through your eyes

I know our gazes don't meet
And we've both got broken hearts
But no matter how we put it
Our words still fly like darts.

Yours are filled with poison
And mine are feather light
I wish things could change here
But where's the sun at night?

You've been too close
When I needed space
And too far
When I ached alone
So tell me oh my dear
Is your heart made of stone?

I know the answer to that
But not asking for myself
Sooner or later, you have to forgive
And leave the past up on the shelf.

This life will end one day
You cannot stop that fact
Are you going to fight that?
You'll only end up flat...

There is no mistaking
We'll do always what we can
But sometimes it's just better
If we leave it where it stands.

Madness

I look at this page
So empty before me.
A reflection of how I feel.
But my life is like a pond.

I see things only through
My own clouded eyes.
So I interpret them wrong.

How can I understand
How another is feeling?
When they see it differently?

A new set of eyes!
That's what I need!
But tell me, please do
Where can I get a set of these?

Madness, chaos
Everywhere I go.
It's like a trail of destruction
That I leave in other's way.

There seems to be no changing
The mundane everyday
It seems things will be the same
Now forever and a day.

I wish I could change it
Get a new pair of eyes.
But it's all set in stone now
I'm the one who cries.

If you find this to be untrue
Please just let me know
I'm crazy on the inside
Broken with nowhere to go.

The never ending heartache
Of living day by day
Has made me so unsure
Whether I want to go or stay.

If I leave the decision to someone else...
I won't have to think about it.
And someday when it rains
I'll stand outside and not get wet.

Today, Yesterday.

Today, they say
Is a new day.
New, but still the same
Yesterday the only difference
That I could spot
Was the clouds.
They didn't sit the same.

Yesterday they were grey, dark
Today they are light, fluffy.
But that doesn't change me.

I wonder if the clock gets bored
Only ever seeing 12 numbers
Over and over again
Because I get bored
Seeing this same day again.

Oh yes, the clouds
They tell me it's different
But I can't see anything else

I still wake, sleep and eat.
As I did yesterday and today
I still cry, flee and fret
As I did yesterday and today.

If only somehow
It wasn't so similiar
Then maybe today
Wouldn't seem to be yesterday
And yesterday seem
To be today.

Tears (Boys and Girls)

Her tears are falling,
His face downcast,
She cries and cries
And he doesn't know why.

Misunderstanding takes place
And her sadness shows 
Up as frustration on his face.
She feels she needs to cry
And he just wants to know why.


"Why do girls cry?"
They ask, amongst themselves
"Why don't guys understand?"
Is the girls reply.


The problem is
Sometimes the girls don't know why
So how do the boys 
Understand when they cry?

Pure Love (for Ava)

Finally, I've learnt something
Something I'll never forget.
Something I'll always treasure
I've learnt to feel pure love.

This feeling runs through me
Makes me shiver all over
I look at your sleeping face
And I see pure innocence 

You are the essence of love
Untouched, totally unspoiled
I see you and you are at peace
You have no war with the world.

You only ask food and warmth
But something about you
Calls me to love you deeply.

I could never part from you
I would put my life on the line
If I knew I was saving yours

You are so beautiful and lovely
So untainted with knowledge
You know only sounds of love
The regular beat of my heart
The soft singing voice, so sleepy

You know nothing of hate or hurt
You are a vessel of pure love
Nothing is perfect, nor anyone
But you come closer than any.

You are God's greatest gift to me
You are the love I crave.
I've been fooled by false love
Fooled by my own thoughts
Fooled by words of others
But now it seems I've found it

I've found that which can't be found elsewhere
I've found it in you.
In You, I've found pure love.

Indecision Decided

Place one finger here
Over this hole
Flick this switch here
Watch how it grows.


Like lightening it hits!
Awaking your brain
Thoughts go to bits
You miss the last train


Everyone's captive
Waiting for you
A moment lapses,
What will you do?


Call on memory,
Sure you've been warned
It all seems so tempting
So you feel so torn


Hesitation a moment
Catching your breath
Finger seems frozen
Capacity left.


But that moment flees
Outstretch those hands
Expression is pleased
As thoughts come to land


All seems much brighter
Simple to understand
New light can easily
Help make new plans.


That moment forgotten
Indecision decided
And that's just when
You'll do exactly as I did.


Read it again
Remember the words
You don't have to pretend
You haven't heard.

Never Ending

Never ending, some things are just
Never ending.
I've got a mountain
And I'm moving it
Moving it with a toothpick.

Sometimes I feel
Like no matter how hard I try
You'll always end up
Making me cry

I'll ache and bleed
Working hard
Until you see
It's never ending for me.

I'm emptying the ocean
A shot glass at a time.
Surely you can see
I'm trying?

But you're there, on an island
Filling the ocean with tears.
I'll cry and fight
Working hard til you see
That it's never ending
Never ending for me.


I've got some tape
I'm pulling it over a volcano
I know if I try 
Just a little harder
That maybe, maybe
I can stop the lava.


I'll climb and strive
Working hard til you see
That it's never ending
Never ending for me.


Break me down
Tell me I'm not good enough
Won't stop me from trying
To finish never ending stuff.

The Loop

I'm a blank page
You're my inked pen.
'Never' I so boldly said,
'Never ever again'

Truth is what I long for
Truth is what I seek.
But it is so obvious now
I am far too weak.

I let it go,
I let it drop.
You think that it's ok
And when I say 'that hurts'
You seem to look away.

It is important, it matters lots
You can't let this go by.
How could you think this would work
If you weren't prepared to try?

I can talk to you about this
I can write a moving song
But unless something changes
Something will go wrong.

I can't and won't just sit here
And let this carry on
You have to know, have to see
I won't stand it for long.

It's come to a point where I have to ask
What are you in this for?
Just it seems to me
That there is no reason any more.

True Friends Have Honest Lips

Now you turn around
To face me for the first time
You stared blankly
Into my lit up eyes

And for the first time,
You saw me as never before
And it was easy for you
To turn from me, face away
And therefore side-step duty.

Do you think you should ignore,
The things about to begin?
A heart without love
Is a heart as black as sin.

So turn to me again
And look into my eyes
Tell me only pure truth
And do not cover it with lies!

I care to know the best of you
And care to know the worst
Now how much heart does it take
To put another's need first?

So when I tell you, of my soul
Look at me, not away
ANd then that is when
I truly know love gained way

For you to speak
Honestly, purely to me
Then I know hearts intentions
Are the best that they can be

Then time will show the happiness
Pure lips will bring
This is how I know for sure
Loves a happening thing. 

Musical

I've got my music turned off
So no music is blowing
I've got my lil pen out
But the ink isn't flowing
How strange
To be caught up in this bubble...

You've not arrived yet,
So I haven't seen you
But I know when you get here
I'll want to be with you
How cute,
That love can be so blind.
How lovely,
That love can be so devine

I want to listen desperately
To the sound of you washing over me
But if you left me waiting
Hanging, holding hesitating,
For you, I'd come searching.

I've got my brain turned off
So that my thoughts don't blow
I've got you beside me
So that you don't go.
How good
Are we, put together.
How sweet,
To write music forever.

Honesty

Now I fear, the inks run dry
Nothing left, no tear to cry
All that's left is me and you
Gathered in this empty room.

I could look up, or look away
When I find there's no words to say
I could let go, pass the blame
But that would be much more shame.

It's easy for the passer by
To give a glance, and evil eye
Only One truly knows
What a little heart holds.

Hidden away inside your mind
Are all the things you think no one can find
Sadly though, you are wrong
And when you hear me sing this song
You'll think that I somehow knew
That I could see this happening to you
But that is simply not the case
Possibly I never even saw your face
But you must understand the key
I know this only, coz it happened to me!

So now when I feel the stirrings of the heart
Instead of letting senses go I start
To remember things, important things
Truths like what an honest lip brings
Truth to tell, not a lie
Do not keep darkness on inside
Bring your fear into the light
Let not the hurt prevail, but what's right
And then, only then you'll see
Why I had to tell what happened to me.

Your Bear (For Zephaniah)

You're not here
I walk into your room,
And hold your bear
But you're still not here.

I walk to the window
And gaze out
Hoping to see you
Run up the path
But you're still not here.

I go to bed and cry
And I wake in the morning
And you're still not here.

I'll check your room
Look in your bed
Hoping my dreams
Have brought you back
But you're still not here.

So I hold your bear
And cry some more
But when you're not here,
I am not anyone.

I was your mother
But if you're not here
I'm nothing.

So I walk back into your room
And I'll put Bear back.
Adjust your pillow and curtain
And pull the door
Click. You're here no more.

The Rivers

Tears half dried on the side of my face
Mascara drawing a path to trace
Follow these rivers, where do they go?
Down a waterfall far far below.

I have been crying since I was a babe
Seems whatever wounds time did not fade,
Sometimes so sudden as a spring rain
My tears fall in rapids again and again.

'Oh how sad!' you say, covering your gasp
'Never mind, it's all fine' I reply from under my mask.

Though I write you and do not hide you
I know well enough no one sees through
And so when I'm alone and see the clouds
I withdraw and ready for the thunder loud

Because it's useless to shout at the weather man
He will not stop the rain, seeming no one can
It's just a matter of waiting it out
Cowering in the corner, hoping it's a short bout.

I feel that I only write when I'm mad or sad
So maybe the rain is a way to release the 'bad'
Perhaps someone some day reads this pleased that is true
That someone else somewhere, feels just the way they do.

Learned

Remember when I didn't listen?
I had my own advice
Remember when I just went missing,
Disappeared behind the lies.
I said no one is gunna tell me
How to live my life!
And now I've learnt the hard way
Cause it was me who caused the strife.
I thought I could play with fire,
And never get burnt
But now my scars remind me,
Of the lessons that I've learnt.

Waiting

It's cold and late, but I feel like writing
Have you got a pen and pad? Shame about the lighting...
I'm smoking next to the no smoking sign
And I know I won't run out of a blank line
We've been waiting a while, and it'll be a while more
It's a good thing we've conversation, else it'd be a bore
The people wander with soft tread shoe
The occasional high heel passing through
The curtains are closed, but no windows here
But if this is a bedroom, we'll have to share.
The quiet whispers, 'a cocktail for you?'
Might have to call the waitress, she's not coming through
A powdered finger, glasses up the nose
Can I have a go on that long blue hose?
A crying babe, maybe it's not a bar...
But where's that waitress? She can't be far
Seems I've got to go get her myself
No harm done I needed to stretch anyway
I wonder how long we'll wait this time
It's ok, I'll let this pen take me away.
I scribble and scrawl blue lines in a row
Listening to you talk but not hearing at all
I love the feel of the ink running awry
You'll notice now I'm not sitting so tall
I hope everyone at home is fast asleep
I know those children well you see
So I can tell that they went out for a peep
Nevertheless, simply put, I digress!
Never as simple as it first seemed
Slowly I slip back into my dreams
If only this pillow made my eyes close
Yet really I shouldn't let myself doze
So I'll continue my scribbling, wobbling, wibblying
Smile at the voices, making me giggly....